Mistakes

Everyday people go on about their daily lives trying to forget any mistakes they’ve made in the past and trying not to make new ones. You tend to learn from your mistakes, but only if you can face them head on. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard “What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”. Is this really true? If you go through life pretending to others and to yourself that you can move past this. Time doesn’t always heal mistakes or the pain you feel for making them. If you go about everyday pretending, are you really stronger? As a kid you learn about relationships from your parents. What happens if you learn that marriage isn’t forever and that cheating is a part of life? You tell yourself I wouldn’t make these same mistakes my parents made. These mistakes that hurt you so much as a child,  you tell yourself I can only be stronger than this. Fast forward a few years and you start dating. You’re fist love comes around and you think, it can’t get better than this. If you’re lucky a few years pass by until you start to think,  I’m too young to be with one person for the rest of my life. Unfortunately, you subconsciously go to what you learned as a child and cheat. Your heart breaks because you love this person and you know you’re hurting them all while doing the one thing you’d swore you’d never do, be like your parents. A few more years pass and you get another chance. Unfortunately, bad luck seems to be on your side again and surprise you’re expecting. Hoping for some kind of support and you end up empty handed, so you tread ahead with as much strength as you can. You’ve seen so many stories like this, a young couple struggles because they’re too young themselves. So you try and beat the odds and go it alone, because ‘What doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger’. This mistake is too large to just forget…and stays in your heart forever. How could it not? You can only try and learn from it and try not to repeat it.  A few more years pass and you have been living with that decision everyday wondering if it was right. Not being able to really face it, you lock the pain and memory away trying to move forward. This way of pretending gives you a false sense of strength and you end up in the same place again in no time at all. However, eventhough you’re still too young, you are ready to take a new path thinking it has to be better. Only to have the cheating and heartbreak to happen again to slap you in the face. Alone again, broken, you say to yourself “what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger”. Today technology is all around, people tweeting and posting all these bad things about others, both famous and not. I know I don’t need to be notified daily about who’s cookie or nipple slipped and I’m tired of all the cyber bullying. Can’t people just keep it to “let’s take this outside” and then move on? No. It’s all taped and posted for all to watch and comment on. The next thing you know there is someone trying to ‘friend’ you in cyber space. You never talked to this person when you were in the same real space, so why in the hell would you want to talk to them now. Happily you click ‘decline’ thinking, that will show you!  We can’t be friends,  not then, not now, not even in cyber space. This makes you feel a little stronger, after all these years you stood up for yourself.  Another friend request, and you think,  who could it be now? Then your heart drops and your stomach flips… after all these years… how can you still feel this way with even just the mention of his name?  Hasn’t time healed you? No, because you only locked away that mistake, and never truly faced it. So this time you take the plung and face it head on and accept. A few hours later, and you finally start to feel stronger and happier. We will continue to make mistakes in our lives.  Some that we will be able to move past and others you may never be able to. Everyday you have to make choices and in that you will make mistakes. The small ones, like forgetting to buy milk or arriving late because you forgot to set the clocks forward are part of everyday. However, there will be times when you have to make choices like keeping a child, staying in a harmful relationship or getting out, acting on your emotions and giving in to someone who sets your heart on fire but is so wrong right now, staying in your current state if life or not… and in these choices you are bound to make mistakes. Some can even ruin your current life and leave a black cloud that looms over you. As hard as it will be you must face the mistakes you made and find a way to live with them and move forward once again,  even if that means starting over.