Alone

How is it that sometimes even when you’re surrounded by people you can feel so alone? Trapped inside your thoughts. He doesn’t like me….they seem to be happier when I’m not around…if they really cared they wouldn’t lie all the time… The thoughts keep building and there you are in the corner while everyone is enjoying themselves.

Most of our childhood we don’t have self doubt. But once you start to notice that you’re ‘different’ than someone else the self doubt starts to settle in. If I could only go out and play like the other kids. If only I looked like the popular kids. If only I could pass math. As the years pass there is more of these ‘if onlys’. So we attach ourselves to something unattainable. Like a beloved blanket, stuffed animal or even an imaginary friend. Someone or that will always be there for us in a time of need, accept us for who we are, understand us when no one else does. However, if we bring these things into adulthood there are even more comments made about how different you are. Though how different can you really be when there are movies made about these exact things. Drop Dead Fred! Oh, that Fred would get into some trouble – eventhough he wasn’t really there. Elizabeth had confidence, fun and support when Fred was around. Than what seemed like a blink of an eye Fred was gone and Elizabeth didn’t need him anymore. Once we grow up the more lost one becomes.

Housewives spend their whole day looking after everyone but themselves. Days tend to go a little like this

  1. Wake up
  2. Tend to the children
  3. Make breakfast and lunch for the kids and husband
  4. Take the kids to school
  5. Go home, clean the mess from the night before
  6. Wash laundry
  7. Pick up after the kids
  8. Do the shopping
  9. Prep for dinner
  10. Pick up the kids from school
  11. Help with homework
  12. Make dinner
  13. Do dishes
  14. Get kids ready for bed
  15. Tend to whatever the husband wants

The list is long (as you can see) and repetitive and usually a thankless job. No where in this day is there time for yourself or even time with someone who makes you feel valued or loved. I truly feel that this is why there are so many fights at home…when sex becomes just another ‘to-do’ item on a list, you tend to look for someone who when they touch you, you can feel something. Anything just to feel. To not feel alone, useless, or unloved. Though if we could just bring back our comfort object or imaginary friend maybe you wouldn’t feel so alone.

You could laugh, be a little crazy and find your confidence again. Life as a mom or

wife is hard. Whether you work or stay at home, your life is usually put last. So maybe every now and then give yourself a break and put all the ‘if onlys’, the lies you know your told that circle in your head, the feeling of uselessness behind you and dance in the rain, build a snowman, see a G rated movie ALONE, or whatever Fred wouldhaveyou do. Hopefully over time you find you again.

Failure

Most great things come from lots of failure. If you don’t try, and most likely fail, you will never succeed.  The telephone, light bulb, airplane, and computer would have never been created if their inventors were afraid of a little failure.

In our every day lives we fail at something every day. If your days are anything like mine you fail more than once. Fail to make it to work on time, fail to finish your “to do” list, fail to walk without tripping over something, fail to make something “healthy” for your kids for dinner due to lack of time. Most of these can be pushed aside and don’t tend to weigh on us, but what if you fail at these kinds of things every day over and over? You start to feel a little helpless and hopeless. The failures cannot become accomplishments unless we learn from them. Sometimes it almost seems that you are destined for failure. Failure to move up the corporate ladder just because of gender,  failure to find true love because you’re always making the same mistakes, failure to be true to yourself because you’re always trying to please others. When this seems to become your life, what needs to change to find success?

Making choices that you know are doomed to fail from the start and yet doing it anyway…. why? Is it the feeling that this is all you deserve in life because of all your other failures? Is it just a bad habit that can’t be broken? Repeating the same things that you know are going to fail, break your heart, or simply just backfire will never breed success. To be successful the key is to learn from previous life experiences and failures and make changes to keep them from happening again.

Human nature seems to get in the way of that sometimes. Comfort in your situation is a creature comfort that is hard to move past to be successful. Matters of the heart also make it hard to achieve success. There seems to be repetitive failure when the heart is involved. When the one place that makes you truly happy , calm and safe is also the place that makes you want to cry. These are the failures that hit the hardest and tear your heart in two and yet are still the hardest to walk away from. Is it the comfort? The wanting to make it successful, even when it’s not in the cards? Is it the struggle? The wounded heart must have time to heal before finding a way to succeed.  Unfortunately , success in one aspect of life doesn’t being happiness…there always needs to be some kind of balance and success in your own personal goals as well as those of the heart. Without the two you will always feel like a failure in some way. Be jealous of those who have the one thing you don’t.  A true love that lasts a lifetime, the kind that can make it through any depths.  A career that you seem to only dream of, to be in the top of the ladder with respect and have the financial freedom to just travel the world at a whim. When all you can think about is just running from it all and trying to start over on both fronts because a blank slate seems easier then cleaning the messy one you have created. At the same time trying to remind yourself that without these failures there can’t be success. The kind of triumph that fills your soul and finally makes you feel both happy and successful because you put in the work to come out the other end.

Change

Change in life is inevitable but not something that is always accepted. We change physically as we grow up. I’m pretty sure adolescents was a change for most that was not something they look back on fondly. For boys, their voice is changing and cracking, and for those a little behind on the growth spurt there is even more to cope with. For the girls, they get to become a woman and there is nothing good about this change. Feeling like your being tortured from the inside and knowing this will be how you feel every month for your foreseeable future. No thank you. Not to mention girls start to look more like women and the boys start to notice. So much change happens during this time in life. During this period you’re thinking that this is never going to end and miserable.  Only to find out in a year it wasn’t all bad. You tend to find yourself during this period of life. Change has a way of coming off as very bad,  but usually turning out for the better in the end.

Changes like this seem to happen for women many times in life, but not so much for men. Probably because women will also face more physical changes throughout life. Changes like child birth, constant weight fluctuations after having children, and of course menopause. However, women also go through more changes in life because of feelings and how they process them. It’s been said that high school sweethearts who get married typically look at their spouse in 30 years and don’t even know who the other person is anymore. Some of the most interesting parenting advice I’ve heard is…. once you’re daughter is around 17 or 18 tell her, look at this man your with and know that who he is now is who he will always be. Then ask is that something you can live with? Looking back at the guys I knew from high school, I can totally back this logic. The part that doesn’t factor in, is that who your daughter is at 17 or 18 may be ok with this person, but who she will be at 30 may not. How do you know what the future holds? You just don’t, and thus there will be some unexpected changes ahead.

Then of course there are the changes of everyday. Moving, changing jobs (or even positions in the same job), working with new people (and the personalities that come with that), marriage, family growth, separations, divorce, and the deaths of loved ones. This is all just a part of life and acceptance really is the only way to make it through these changes. This is definitely something that is usually easier said than done. Not everyone deals with change well. Change brings up fear of the unknown, anger to be taken out of the comfort zone, and guilt that this could affect others badly.

There is a saying “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” This applies to people probably more than dogs. Dogs just want to please their master, and will learn something new to do that, if taught in the right way. People on the other hand, get stuck in their ways (their cacoon of comfort) and are very reluctant to change. They could be miserable in the life they’re in, whether it be an abusive relationship, a loveless marriage, a job with a boss you can’t tolerate, or doing something you hate every day just to pay the bills, yet stay where they are because it’s easier to know what to expect than to expect the unknown. This doesn’t make it better though. Will making a change make it better? Who knows. It could be a wrong change, but by staying in a bad place only because you’re afraid of change you can guarantee this will be as good as it gets (how ever bad that is).

Change is the factor of life that will be with you from birth to death. In that sentence alone, there is change… birth and death. Both things that will affect and change the lives of others. It is best to learn to embrace change and take that step forward. Change will always be a little scary,  but that’s only because the unknown is a bit frightening, and fear isn’t always a bad thing.

Beauty

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. A statement that couldn’t be more accurate. Most people find beauty in things like sunsets and landscapes. However even in these things what people find to be truly beautiful is different based on the person. One could love when the sky is a vibrant red and one could love when there is a haze in the sky making the sunset more like a colorful rainbow. Someone could love the beauty of snow capped mountains,  one could love the fall in all its changing colors, or the beach as the waves crash against the shore. There are so many beautiful things in nature making it easy to find some kind of beauty. For many days I would drive past this tree in the middle of a grassy area. Not just any tree, but one that looks like it has had a whole life with all these twists and weathered branches. It is just amazingly simple yet beautiful and makes me remember to appreciate the little things in life. I don’t travel this way much anymore, but the beauty of this landscape will forever be in my memory and I do take that way whenever possible. The simple beauty of nature is something truly unique and magical.

Beauty in people is something entirely different. What one person finds beautiful another may not at all. The media tells us what we should find beautiful, thin and tall women and fit and waxed men. Look at the movies and how popular a movie can be with absolutely no real plot as long as you have 4 half naked, chiseled and oiled men dancing around. Does this make us admire their beauty or hate ourselves because we could never look like that? I think a little of both, otherwise botched wouldn’t have as many seasons as it does. People trying to look like those they see on TV or thinking that by changing the one thing they don’t like about themselves that they will feel better. The problem is that no matter what you change on the outside you won’t feel beautiful until you change what’s on the inside. Beauty radiates from within. However, how do you get that confidence when everything around you tells you to be something else? It’s so much easier to believe the bad things. What does it really take to overcome the bad? I’m not reallly sure.

Being told you’re beautiful from your mom, aunt, grandma or any family member means a whole lot of nothing.  They say that because they have to… or they’re bias. Even hearing it from a friend is questionable. But when someone you like, admire or love calls you beautiful you start to feel that maybe it’s true. Maybe you are a beautiful girl, or maybe you are just to them and really isn’t that all that matters?

Personally I find beauty in all types of people.  There was this lady with legs for days that walked past looking like a million dollars at 6 AM to catch a flight. I thought damn if I had legs like that I’d show them off too, good for you. At dance show there was this larger girl and I would look at her and think there is a beautiful girl…so confident and beautiful. There are the “magic Mike” kind of men who are only beautiful when not too chiseled, and there are the every day men who exude confidence and swagger that are even more beautiful. This is because beauty does come in all shapes and sizes and if you keep your mind open to the beauty of each individual you might find more beauty within. You don’t have to be what the media tells you to be, you just need to be true to yourself. Your personal style and swagger will be an inspiration to others as well as yourself.

Truth

Why is it that something so simple is really so complicated? If something is supposed to be the truth, why is it so grey? There is half truths, your truths, their truths and “the” truth. If you believe something to be true does that just make it so? Everyone seems to be searching for a truth about something.  Why to we always feel like we need the truth? So you can trust? It seems that the two do go hand in hand…if you don’t tell the truth then you can’t be trusted. Now comes the tricky part… what if it is something that you believe in your heart to be true but in reality it is not? Does that make you a liar or just naive? It is at this point that the other person can start to loose trust in you.

As we grow up, the truth is something that doesn’t remain so black and white. As a kid it’s easy…either you did or did not eat your vegetables. When asked,  you would say of course I ate them, fully knowing you fed them to the dog under the table. This is clearly a lie and your parents know it, even if they don’t say anything and let you get away with it. As teens there are the same kinds of black and white truths,  but the grey does start to slip in. Mostly in the forms of how you view what is happening in your relationships. Your bestfriend starts to drift and hang out with someone new. Your truth is that she just doesn’t like me anymore and so I should just move on. Her truth is that she started to feel you drifting first because you spent more time talking about your crush then what you guys would do over the weekend. To her, you left first. So who’s “truth” is correct? Neither. There is the actual truth that can only be said from the outside of feelings. The truth is that both parties felt the same, just at different times and if they would have just been honest and upfront, the whole thing could have been worked out.

These kind of grey truths start to bleed over into adulthood. As we have more experiences and heartbreak, our view of “the” truth gets a little skewed. Someone could see that a coworker is pushy and overbearing but not see it in themselves. The truth is that the other person feels the same way and thus responds accordingly to their “truth”. When from the outside, you can see they are so much  alike they can’t move past their “truths” and come to a middle ground where the actual truth lies. This is also brought up quite often in divorce court…her truth, his truth, and “the” truth of what went wrong and when. The fact still remains that it really is the truth that can set you free and that most of the time the truth hurts. Maybe this is why we stand in the grey truth for so much of our lives. It also remains that once someone feels that you’ve lied to them, their trust in you is lost. Trust is also something really hard to gain back within yourself as well as in others. Truth can be a scary thing and a hard thing to find. I see it like flying. On the ground, it’s so busy with all the cars rushing around, you see the litter on the ground, the yelling of people either on the phone or face to face, and everything else in the  hectic world we live in. Then you take off and start to see the parcels of land, their different shades of brown and green, the cars looking to just stream through in unison along the roads, and the beauty of the world. Once you’re in the clouds, you see nothing but white and blue peace. This is where you can find truth, above it all, when you have seen all levels and are in a peaceful place within. Truth in the relationships in your life, truth in how you react and whether it was correct for the situation, truth in who you are as a person, truth in life. You must first step away to find truth, but once you find it you must find the courage to use it. As it will be this truth that sets you free from the circle you seem to be stuck in and the pain you feel.

Fear

Being afraid of things is basic human nature. Afraid of snakes, spiders, clowns, small places, heights,  relationships, commitment, and change. Picturing fear as just another animated emotion from Inside Out helps put things into perspective.  It’s just another character needed to help us make sound decisions.  Running away from home seems like it could be so liberating, but then fear steps in with questions like, where are we going to sleep tonight? Won’t mom be worried about us? What if someone picks us up and takes us away to a bad place? These kinds of fears help us. Fears of spiders, snakes, clowns, heights, small places, etc. hinder us. Jumping on a couch when a one inch spider crawls across the floor seems a little ridiculous. You’re so much larger than the spider, just step on it.  Problem solved. However, it’s not that easy for the person that is scared. It is not until you get the courage to overcome your fear and embrace it, by finally stepping on that little guy that you feel liberated. Thinking back on it and wondering how you let this little fear hold you back for so long. Heights are scary to many people, making it scary to fly, see concerts, zip line or even ejoy a walk across a bridge. This makes me think back to one of my favorite movies. There are a few sceenes in Pretty Woman where Edward deals with theses fears… box seats at the opera for example… why sit so high when you’re afraid of heights? Because they’re the best of course. When Vivian sits on the ledge of the balcony and Edward fears for her life and asks her to get down.  This one is partly because of his fear of heights but also partly because if his fear of anything happening to the woman he loves. Of course he is too afraid to tell her how he really feels. This leads us to another fear altogether. The fear of bearing your soul only to be let down by the feelings not being returned. Fear of opening up because it might make you realize that once you admit how you really feel out loud that makes it real. Scared to act on behalf of your heart because it could be broken. Fear of finally doing something for yourself instead of what you feel obligated to. If we let fear lead us in our decisions when will we ever be happy? Joy runs the show, you got to let her in sometimes. I was recently reminded that the best fight is fighting the loosing battle.  As it is not until you win that fight that it is really worth it. Making the easy choice and pushing your fear to the back isn’t helping anyone.  It is not until you can face your fears that you can truly live. I’m afraid of oceans and lakes… not because I can’t swim or that I could be swept away by some current…but because of what creature could be swimming below. Also, it is full of so many dirty things. However, I love to walk along the beach while the tide comes in and sinks my feet into the sand, to sit on a boat enjoying the sun above and the sounds of the water below, and to kiak and admire the jellyfish below. I don’t let my fears of the water stop me from enjoying all these things I love. However, that wasn’t always the case. For years I wouldn’t go near an ocean for fear of creatures attacking me. Yes I know, this sounds a little crazy. Growing up watching shark movies probably has a lot to do with this. Once I faced my fear and just jumped in and tried something new and scary I found that things aren’t as bad as I made them out to be and now I love these things even more because I can appricate facing my fear and enjoying the beauty of nature. You can’t let fear hold you back in life as you will miss out on all the love, beauty and security that comes with overcoming your fears. Fight that loosing battle every now and then. Let joy take the controls. Fear will always have its place but it should not let you be held back from where you want to be.

Mistakes

Everyday people go on about their daily lives trying to forget any mistakes they’ve made in the past and trying not to make new ones. You tend to learn from your mistakes, but only if you can face them head on. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard “What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”. Is this really true? If you go through life pretending to others and to yourself that you can move past this. Time doesn’t always heal mistakes or the pain you feel for making them. If you go about everyday pretending, are you really stronger? As a kid you learn about relationships from your parents. What happens if you learn that marriage isn’t forever and that cheating is a part of life? You tell yourself I wouldn’t make these same mistakes my parents made. These mistakes that hurt you so much as a child,  you tell yourself I can only be stronger than this. Fast forward a few years and you start dating. You’re fist love comes around and you think, it can’t get better than this. If you’re lucky a few years pass by until you start to think,  I’m too young to be with one person for the rest of my life. Unfortunately, you subconsciously go to what you learned as a child and cheat. Your heart breaks because you love this person and you know you’re hurting them all while doing the one thing you’d swore you’d never do, be like your parents. A few more years pass and you get another chance. Unfortunately, bad luck seems to be on your side again and surprise you’re expecting. Hoping for some kind of support and you end up empty handed, so you tread ahead with as much strength as you can. You’ve seen so many stories like this, a young couple struggles because they’re too young themselves. So you try and beat the odds and go it alone, because ‘What doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger’. This mistake is too large to just forget…and stays in your heart forever. How could it not? You can only try and learn from it and try not to repeat it.  A few more years pass and you have been living with that decision everyday wondering if it was right. Not being able to really face it, you lock the pain and memory away trying to move forward. This way of pretending gives you a false sense of strength and you end up in the same place again in no time at all. However, eventhough you’re still too young, you are ready to take a new path thinking it has to be better. Only to have the cheating and heartbreak to happen again to slap you in the face. Alone again, broken, you say to yourself “what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger”. Today technology is all around, people tweeting and posting all these bad things about others, both famous and not. I know I don’t need to be notified daily about who’s cookie or nipple slipped and I’m tired of all the cyber bullying. Can’t people just keep it to “let’s take this outside” and then move on? No. It’s all taped and posted for all to watch and comment on. The next thing you know there is someone trying to ‘friend’ you in cyber space. You never talked to this person when you were in the same real space, so why in the hell would you want to talk to them now. Happily you click ‘decline’ thinking, that will show you!  We can’t be friends,  not then, not now, not even in cyber space. This makes you feel a little stronger, after all these years you stood up for yourself.  Another friend request, and you think,  who could it be now? Then your heart drops and your stomach flips… after all these years… how can you still feel this way with even just the mention of his name?  Hasn’t time healed you? No, because you only locked away that mistake, and never truly faced it. So this time you take the plung and face it head on and accept. A few hours later, and you finally start to feel stronger and happier. We will continue to make mistakes in our lives.  Some that we will be able to move past and others you may never be able to. Everyday you have to make choices and in that you will make mistakes. The small ones, like forgetting to buy milk or arriving late because you forgot to set the clocks forward are part of everyday. However, there will be times when you have to make choices like keeping a child, staying in a harmful relationship or getting out, acting on your emotions and giving in to someone who sets your heart on fire but is so wrong right now, staying in your current state if life or not… and in these choices you are bound to make mistakes. Some can even ruin your current life and leave a black cloud that looms over you. As hard as it will be you must face the mistakes you made and find a way to live with them and move forward once again,  even if that means starting over.

Soundtracks

Every movie today has a soundtrack.  These songs are played throughout the movie to enhance the way you feel about the situation. The musical melody and the heartfelt words playing durring a love scene, the thump of the base during a dance scene, or the rock tunes played during battles. Not only does this music bring more ‘life’ to the scene but also pulls you in. You can remember the first time you heard that song, or it will take you back to your first love, first fight, first concert, first anything….this list can keep going but I think you get my point.

Just like the movies, there is a soundtrack to our own lives. Music written by someone else who’s been in a very similar place in life to you right now. As alone as you think you are – you’re not. There have been many breakups that rip your heart into pieces. Heck that’s how Taylor Swift has been so successful. She can write exactly what you feel at that point. As where Edwin McCain can take you back to a high school love and slow dancing in the living room. Some Linkin Park for those “I don’t give f***” moments. With so many others for the in between moments. It really doesn’t matter the genre, just the lyrics and how they make you feel.

It could be an Avril song that makes you realize he doesn’t wish you were here, just her. Or a Shania Twain song to help you feel strong as a woman and a single mom. That you have the strength to make it through. When you don’t know how to say how you’re feeling and that Bruno Mars song comes on and you laugh because it says it all.

Way back when mix tapes were a thing, we would make them for our friends so they can experience the same love for the music you love. We would make them for our boyfriends/girlfriends to help us say what we are feeling. We would make them for ourselves for the different times of life, breakups, dance parties, love, hope, and more. We still do this kind of thing with playlists. A list for working out is probably the most popular. Music to pump you up, Rocky style. Breakup lists still being next in line. Alanis Morissette still has one of the best break up albums of all time, Jagged Little Pill. Can you believe a whole album made with such passion, rage, and heart as this one? I remember when my best friend introduced me to her music. Sitting in her parents room on the floor watching videos on MTV.  I was instantly amazed by how raw she could be. I wasn’t old enough to really understand the lyrics, but I could feel the emotion. Isn’t it ironic? To this day her music is brought up to me by the people in my life. I can now understand the lyrics and still feel the same raw emotion as I did as a child, no matter how many times I hear it.

It’s when you find that one song that fits where you are in life and you just keep it in repeat to help get you through.  Or to just keep you dancing and feeling joy. Music fills your heart and soul the same as emotions. It speaks to us like no one can, and helps us through life, the good and bad.

 

Love

A glance, a touch, a kiss. Things that can break down walls and add them at the same time. Thoughts consumed with these things and what ifs. Why?  People form attractions for one another with things so small as a look. It’s been said that if you look into a person’s eyes for longer than 3 seconds you start to form a bond with that person. It is also said the the eyes are the window to the soul, so maybe that’s why something so small can feel so big. At the same time it is said that love is blind. How can the eye be the window if it is love that makes you blind? There are so many ‘facts’ and ‘myths’ about true love. How do you sort out what is fact and what truly is fiction? Is there really a love expert? Even those who have been together their whole lives don’t have the answers. Relationships are different for everyone. Apparently there is one such expert that he can just watch a couple for 15 or so minutes and tell if that couple will make it or not. This guys method has been studied and is now used as a baseline for evaluating couples today. What I don’t understand is how can we have such an unconditional love for your child, a love that fills your whole heart, and still have room for your significant other? If the love is true and pure there seems to be plenty of room. Even the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes the day he found love. However, true love can make you do crazy things. Like drop your life and move across country,  change the way you look or act to appease someone else, or even convince yourself that it was your fault. So how do you know if what you have is true love? Is it really like Cher says…it’s in his kiss? Would this mean that if everything else is great but you can’t stand his kiss, that it’s not love? Or if the kiss is the most amazing thing you’ve experienced but everything else makes you miserable that it’s okay? It can’t be just in a kiss. Maybe it is in the touch? When you feel the other persons love through just a touch or holding their hand? This could be true… We first learn love from our parents and family.  When your mom would jump into a freezing lake to rescue you or make you laugh when all you want to do is cry. It is these actions that state love, not words. Actions and touch. It is only the comfort of a mother’s hug that can calm a scared child. In her arms the child feels safe and loved. As an adult, it is this touch that we crave to feel safe in again. But without the actions the touch just isn’t enough… Yet without the kiss or the feeling you get when looking in their eyes there is nothing. You should feel love and comfort when in their arms, you should feel their love in the touch, and in their kiss. You crave their kiss everyday…the kind of kiss that takes your breath away. You should be able to know that through it all they will be by your side from their actions. It is not the words, maybe this is why that guy can see it from just watching couples. This is also why you should be aware of how you feel when you look into the eyes of another, how their kiss makes you feel, can you feel their love in a touch, do you feel safe and supported in their arms. If all of these things apply it is a true love. It is the kind of love that makes you feel like your high above the clouds. This kind of feeling doesn’t come along everyday, so when you find it you should not let it go, who knows when you will feel this way again… if ever.  Just remember that true love isn’t always living in a bubble,  but takes work and compromise and sometimes there is pain.  However it is the memories of that bubble life you shared in the beginning that will help get you through and make you even stronger in the end

Time

It’s funny how you go through life, day by day but if feels like years are either moving too fast or to slow. As kids a day travels at snail speed especially during the school day listening to the teacher go on and on about the differences between pronouns, adjectives, and adverbs and the Spanish Revolution. Once school’s out you get the pleasure of going home to your crazy parents who make you do your homework, eat whatever burnt thing they’re trying to pass off as food, and then take a bath. Yuck! Baths are gross and there’s a new episode of The Simpsons on. You’re always wishing to be older so you can stay up as late as you want, watch what you want, eat what you want, and well hell, let’s face it do whatever you want whenever you want. Being an adult seems as glamorous as the prom or your wedding day. So you spend your days daydreaming for time to jump in the fast lane already, but instead each day and each year seems to take longer than the one before. Then from out of left field the batter hits a home run that wins the game and you were in the bathroom and now you’re in your thirties wondering where the time went. Spinning all around looking to get a replay. Let’s face it, that’s why we have kids, to feel like one again because we missed it the first time. Now we have an excuse to color, paint with our fingers, play on the monkey bars without looking like a child molester, and of course to be able to take afternoon naps. Face it as kids we don’t see the crappy part of being an adult, like instead of going to school now you have to work. Work isn’t usually something any of us enjoy, that’s why we look so forward to retiring. Finally you do retire and then you’re bored and don’t know what to do with yourself. There’s only so much Jerry Springer and the constant company of your significant other you can take before you start wanting to go back to work. Anything just to get your fat butt off the couch and away from the one you love, so that you’ll still love them tomorrow. To make things even more exciting as adults we get the privilege of paying for all that stuff you NEED like a house, food, a car, insurance, to rescue that cute crazy looking dog from the pound, and of course the new i-phone. No matter what age you are you’ll always want to be a different one, till finally one day you look around and realize you’re in the right place at the right time. So STOP and smell the roses! They smell GREAT! Time moves at the same pace no matter what age we are or what we dream of that could be better, yet it will always be too fast or too slow. There was this great saying, how  you should jump in and enjoy the exhilarating things in your life because you’ve never been this old and you’ll never be this young again.  Always wondering if the grass is really greener just gets us to miss the good things   we already have